Remembering That Bouquet But Forgetting About What It's Missing

Tonight I had a very interesting conversation with an old friend. It's been so long since we've shared words with each other. I'm so glad we got to catch up. I love people and talking!

When I got home from school, I took the longest nap ever. Talk about a power nap! Every second of sleep was simply amazing to say the least. During this 4 hour nap, I had a dream. In this dream, I was the owner of an electric blue Mini Cooper. That is my absolute favorite car ever next to one of those VW hippie vans...and Kia Souls! The dream was so real, and there was so much disappointment when I woke up. I've got to start writing down my dreams now that I think of it. They always seem to escape me when I want to share my sleep thoughts with someone.

Flight of the Conchords is always a day brightener when the clouds seem to overpower any rays of sunshine. They are from New Zeeland, and I am in love with them! I really encourage people to check them out when they have a chance. Just remember that I have an odd sense of humor.

There is so much on my mind right now; I might go crazy. There is a slight chance that I have already made it there, but I like to be optimistic and say that being crazy isn't bad at all.

There are all of 2 people that read my blog. (two people that I know anyways.) Sometimes I don't mind this. I'd rather tell complete strangers about my life over the internet anyways. Isn't that how most girls do it? Whoa. Just kidding. I am not most girls. Most girls are stupid. This is simply an escape.

Lately, my blogs have been extremely drab. At one point, they were super awesome. There was something that made my brain create such an amazing museum of words for the public eye. Now, I'm not really sure what that was or where it went. Pardon me for the next few months while I find myself and the words that used to make me sound half interesting.

My attention span is abou...

Oh, how I wish I could concentrate enough to remember what it was I was going to type..

I lied....I remember what it was.

My spotify playlist has been set to jazz. Jazz makes me smile and it reminds me of why I like the saxophone.

Maybe tomorrow night will be a better night for my brain.

Sitting, waiting, wishing,...should be sleeping,
Emily Page.

P.s. While re-reading this, I realized that some of the things I said made sense in the order they're in, but it wasn't meant to be that way. For now, I will keep it the way it is. It makes me giggle.

Alice? Hardly.

I've been over-thinking the idea of a tattoo. There are so many choices, but I want to get a tattoo that fits ME! I'm super unusual and unique, but I suppose everybody is unique. The members of my church really don't support this particular style of expressing myself. All they have are opinions. It really just makes me angry. We even had a debate where we looked up in the bible where it says we shouldn't get tattoos. This is what it said:

"Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourself. I am the LORD." -Leviticus 19:28.

This was super disappointing to read, but then I did some more research. Reading all of Leviticus 19:23-28 proved something else to me. In this passage, God is telling the covanent people to stay away from other religious practices that will lead them astray. Practices such as eating bloody meat, fortune telling, certain hair cutting similar to priests of false cults, cutting or marking the body for dead relatives, etc.. These prohibited religious practices do not refer to tattoos meant for the decor of the body. Decorative tattoos aren't always used for connections to cultic religious worship. That's just silly.

Anchor tattoos really strike my fancy. I read in another blog that it symbolizes stability..and unwillingness to change. That's not always a bad thing.

Hurray for tattoos!

On saturday, I went to Solo and Ensemble in Cadillac. I played my flute in a duet and in a trio as well. It was a very successful day after earning a Division I rating for both performances. After such a great day, I remembered how much I love participating in these out-of-school, musical activities! Blue ribboned medals sure do look great on my jacket!

I ran into somebody that lies a lot...that little encounter always hurts the worse, and it's always sore for awhile afterwards.

I have recently bumped into a predicament...I'm not sure how to explain it, but I'm sure it will be okay. We shall see.

These were my thoughts for the moment. I wish I had a long enough attention span to spill some more thoughts on this page. I used to be able to dump out the whole dish of beans...something might have happened between then and now, but I'm not quite absolute about that.

Waaaaay full of it, and it's still early,
Emily Page.

You Are The Power To My Sarcastic Being.

This girl is absolutely frustrated beyond compare. I just reeeeeally love it when people tell you they will "put you on blast" the next time they see you. Well, my room is less than five steps from yours. COME AT ME! You're the one who went into my bedroom and started looking through my objects without checking with me first. Asking the simple question "What are you looking for?" didn't seem so harsh at the moment, but I suppose I was wrong. You were right? How about you were wrong. You don't own my life. Be as angry as you want with me, but I'm over you and your stupidity! I tried shrugging it off, but I'm fed up to my eyebrows with your bologna. The thing that really gets me is the fact that you wouldn't even bother to tell me what it was that you wanted. I would have told you if I had it. You choosing to give me the silent treatment and storm out of my room didn't solve anything. Putting this little problem on Facebook right after the fact just makes me giggle inside. There is nothing more I can do for you. I wasn't being rude, I was showing frustration, because it's a tad bit rude of YOU to go through somebody else's belongings when you have no intention of telling them what your actual intentions are. Thank you for showing me what being an ignorant jerk looks like. I've commit this to memory for the future.

Phew. There is so much more I could say, but I have to hold back. Quite recently, I learned that it's never good to make your feelings public. Somebody might figure them out. Weird.

Some people call it being mean; I call it sarcasm. Call it what you want, but I will most likely still use this highly intellectual communication technique in the majority, if not all, of my encounters with that of the stupid culture.

I'm not letting anybody tear me down. ENOUGH of this negativity! That's the last thing I want on my mind.

Tonight was a great night for watching some old Grand Valley State Laker Marching Band videos on youtube. I strive to be a member of this band. Anything about it fills me with joy! The Drum Majors are fantastic, and they do an awesome job at making one feel welcome. Next year will be a great start to my college career.

Spotify adds make me angry...I just want to listen to my music!

Tonight is an off night just like the rest. Tomorrow will be an early morning with solo and ensemble right around the bend. Allendale will be my next stop on this journey. There is a pretty special person I'm just itching to see! I haven't seen them in a very long week.

My eyes are closing...but I've got much more to share. Until next time...

A very tired,
Emily Page.

Back To My Random Self...But I Dig It.

A day of massages. That's my kind of day right there. In my cosmetology class, I received a pedicure complete with a foot and leg message. Immediately following, I was scheduled for a full body massage at the local chiropractor. I am super relaxed. Maybe I will actually get some sleep tonight. There was a time in my life where I actually wanted to be a massage therapist. That's a joke now. Do you know how many people I would have to touch?! YIKES! Choosing a career with a little less slimy contact would better suit me. Enough about my future. That seems to be all I think about these days.

Today, just like yesterday, I am the happiest person alive. There is no doubt. This wicked, awesome guy keeps making my days brighter! How in the world could I be so lucky to have run into him?! My smile stretches so wide when I even think of him...There is a slight chance I will be young with wrinkles around where my smile paints itself, but here's the thing: I don't mind to terribly much! There are so many good things I could say about him to this Bloggerverse, but I will wait. Like I said, it's but the prologue. My story will be fantastic, though.

Today I didn't attend any of my morning classes. Our PAC group went straight to a meeting with groups from other schools! This morning was exciting, and I am a little proud of being in such an amazing group with such spectacular people! We truly want to make a difference in this world. I believe that with my whole heart.

After the meeting, my bestie, Mark, and I went to lunch. He ate Taco Bell. Taco Bell reminds me of the Spanish language. I love it! We had an hour before we had to be back to our classes, so we decided to have some fun. Our imaginations brought us right to the front doors of Dunham's. Soon after we walked in, we started a game put put golf? I'm not sure of the technical term for the legit game we played. We just about tested every putter we saw lined up for purchase. Our curiosity carried us away to the exercise machines...I've never been such a kid. Our journey ended with a tasteful duet on the car ride back to the tech center. I just love my bestie.

Music. It's something nobody can live without. There is so much passion in the making of every song no matter what type of music it is. Over time, I've learned to appreciate (There are two p's in appreciate) all genres of music. To be honest, they are all pretty likable. In my own opinion though, I prefer screamo over rap and classical over country. Country is almost the worst, but I appreciate it.

There are anchors painted on my big toe nails.

In another thought, I want to get my teeth bleached. They aren't discolored, but I want them to be WHITE!

Soccer season is coming here soon after winter is over. I hate waiting! I talked to a few of the girls on my team. It's going to be a good season! I miss them quite a tidbit. I'll have to start working out and preparing. It's time to click out of lazy mode. 

I just realized there is much to accomplish in little time.

Busier than ever,

Emily Page.

P.s. I absolutely LOVE bacon!
Phew, glad I got that off my chest.

On Days I Feel Blah...

Just another amazing day has passed right by. Today more blah than most, but whose to say those days can't still be as awesome?! There really isn't too much on my brain today.

Into another direction, there is something that is usually ALWAYS on my mind! He's got a name. Most guys tend to have those. He makes me smile! Every morning starts off with a little chat before I go to school and he goes to work. Just like that, he makes my day a whole day of sunshine brighter. Around 5:00pm he gets out of work...that's possibly my favorite part of the day! Talking to him makes me a better person...in a way. My ultimate favorite time of the week, though, is the weekends. I basically see this sweet boy every weekend! I sure hope that keeps working out! I'm beginning to really fancy such an awesome guy.

Ice crunching keeps my from going insane. When I have absolutely nothing to do, I chew ice. I've heard that it's not too good for your teeth (which scares me a little considering the money that went into having my teeth perfected), but it's become a mental addiction. I enjoy it all too much.

Although it may not seem so close, but summer will soon be here. Soccer season comes before that, and I am super stoked. My plan is to get in super shape before soccer then stay in tip-top shape for my summer apparel. Swimsuits don't look good on just anybody! Six pack, don't hold back! That shall be my motto!

God has got me again! I have been struggling with my relationship with God, but now I really want to try to better it. As I take a moment to stop and look around me, the world is becoming an evil place. The evil is dragging me down with it, and that's not what I want. I used to have the closest walk with God, and I followed him every step of the way. Now, my feet don't really fall in to the footsteps made for me to walk in. Life is throwing itself in my face, and I'm giving in. I've got to be strong. God is there to help me, and all I have to do is what he says and has planned. Who I am strives to be who I've been, and who I've been hates who I am. Time and dedication is all it takes.

Music helps me stay on track. It's something I can relate to on my off days.

Maybe tomorrow I'll have something worth saying.

Just another blah day,
Emily Page.

Not Quite Ocean Deep

Tonight was a fantastic night as I sat in my bed since 7:00pm reading my book. It sparked quite an interest in me, but I am really very upset with the ending. To put it in other terms, I simply do not like when people die at the end of the story. Hamlet was a good example of a story that tunes you in just in time to rip your heart in half at the close...Darn books. Now I have to find another book that will ease my brain of the sorrow. That shouldn't be too hard. Also, this Reese's peanut butter cup might be just what I need to sweeten the mood. All in all, I learned a little more about the lives people live and how the world can be so cruel. Learning will be something that happens everyday, no matter what.

For the past month or so, it is possible that I have been one of the happiest people alive. Sure there were some obstacles that I had to overcome, but that wasn't anything God couldn't help me with. With His help, I have completed yet another race in my marathon of life. I am moving on to bigger and greater things, and I am more than willing to leave my past as my past as I look forward to my future.

Going back to when I said I was possibly one of the happiest people alive, I really think I might be! I've smiled every day since I've met this very special guy, and talking to him is my favorite part of every single day! There was a point in my life where I thought I would, in the words of George Michael, "never dance again." Guys were never really good to me. All this has changed. A guy that I never really thought about before a month ago turned out to be someone I think about every second. My smile has never been brighter, my laugh has never been healthier, my eyes have never shone with such sparkle, my heart has never felt so warm, and my stare has never been so intense...and yes, I have a pretty intense stare. It is only the beginning, but that's the joy in a fresh start. I have the chance to be who I want to be. I want to be the girl for him, because it really feels right this time. Like I said, it's only the prologue, I've still got the rest of my story to write...better yet, to let fall into place.

My best friends are some pretty awesome people. In a previous blog, they may have been talked down on, but they really do try. I love them to death, and I would do anything for them. Truthfully, I miss them and how close we used to be. Hopefully I can rekindle our friendship or at least make time in my busy schedule for them. It's been a minute.

I have a habit of forgetting to sleep at night. This is something I really don't have a problem with, but I know I should probably start sleeping when I'm supposed to. Being sleep deprived is something I deal with on the daily, but I'm a pretty happy person when I'm robbed of my sleep. People notice.

Despite my talk of failure to sleep, tonight will be a good night to start a new habit...at least until the school year is complete.

Looking beyond the shadow,
Emily Page.

Sliver of Myself

It's hard to explain a girl like me. Some may use the word crazy, or even weird. I am perfectly okay with either. The word I like most to describe myself is "accepting." With each and every day, there are new stereotypes created only to make the world a harder place to live in...harder for people to show love. No matter how people choose to live their life, I will still love them the same. I've been in hard situations where people realize that I don't support what they do, but in the end, they come to see that I'm still there to love them.

Trust is something I have a hard time with. There are many people who have blown up the idea of something so sacred. Most of my "friends" think they can break trust right in half then go ahead and scoot their way around it. They think I don't notice, but little do they know. A lot more goes on in my brain than people think. Nobody really knows me like they think they do. I wish they would just read what I have to say. Then and only then will they know what 's on my mind. Speaking what I feel out loud is hard for me. I feel like I have a limited audience, and this audience is still hard of hearing. The only ones that listen are the ones that already know. They are the smart ones. Everyday is a new learning experience. I learn who I can and can't trust, and I learn all about how people's brains work these days. It's really quite interesting.

Aside from everything else, I absolutely love having fun and being positive! Dancing is something I find myself doing even when there is no music to dance to. When there are moments of silence, I like to break out in song hoping someone's day might be a smidgen brighter. Smiles are great, and I love seeing them as well. Sad faces make me upset, and being upset is never fun! I'm all about fun!

There is much to learn about me for those who would like a lesson, but until next time...