Nobody. That's who I've learned that I can trust. Giving someone who is not yourself the power to break your heart is the biggest mistake anybody can make especially when you are expecting it. I don't know why I'm so upset about something I could see coming from three hours away.
And so it happens again. This anxiety will be the death of me, but don't take that too literally. As unbearable as it can be, this too shall pass. It's one thing to call me a weirdo knowing that I am already aware of the fact, but it is most certainly another thing to call me a weirdo in hopes to offend me. That really eats at the soul.
I'm sick. Sick of judgmental people. I thought I was pretty accepting. Turns out I was wrong. I don't accept rude, inconsiderate jerks who feel it is in their place to judge the rest of us. Nobody needs that in their life, because it only creates a hurt that's incurable. My hurt...still numb, so why must I try to cure it? Why not just throw a smile on top like a poncho? I'm laughing. There is no reason for me to hurt like this.
It all started the day after Relay for Life. I should have said no. There is no way it was acceptable for me to be out with no phone, no sleep, and no knowledge of where I was going. There would have been one less jerk and one less problem. I suppose if they want nothing to do with me then it's not so much a problem...for me anyways. I haven't stopped trying, and that's where the problem lies but not in my own hands. It's in their hands. Am I in the wrong for making this mess bigger than it needs to be knowing I don't have to clean it up?
...nahhhh.
It is so clear to me now. I've fallen. To get up, I'd be living! So, why not live?!
Nothing more.
Emily.
