Today wasn't too terribly awful. Mr. Saxobeat played on my Spotify this evening, and that had it's own special way of cheering me up. I'm sure to the world, rather people who read any of my blogs, I seem like a sad and depressed mug. Although it looks that way, anyone who truly knows me knows that I can never be sad for a long period of time. There is too much in life to be excited about!
Right now isn't one of those exciting, happy moments, but I like to think it is. The brighter side gives me a better tan.
Speaking of tan, whilst I was mowing my lawn in my swimsuit, I caught a few rays. My feet are still pretty white, and I have a faint TOMS tan line, but the rest of me has bronzed quite nicely.
Completing ab workouts has become but a chore. I love having my summer body year round, but I suppose I've been eating way too much bacon. My six pack is gone, and my motto, "Sick pack don't hold back" rolled right to the back of my noggin only to be forgotten.
Wait a tick, it has not been forgotten...since I remember, I might as well stick to it.
My bed is calling my name, but I'm not tired. Staying awake only makes me think about the worst things can be, but going to bed will only make me dream about those things. I debated which would be worse for me. So far, staying awake would be best. Sleeping only creates a more realistic setting for my thoughts to tell their story.
Why is this worse than the first time around? Why is it possible for guys to make girls feel like this? Why can't I control when I do and don't feel like this? Why aren't our brains synced with our hearts? Why is it so difficult to find someone who fancies you just as much as you fancy them?...Why am I so stupid?
Hmm. That last question really got me. Why am I so stupid? I'm not stupid. My body only wants me to think this is worse than the first time around. Guys have no power over me. I can control what I do and who I am with which in turn will control my level of emotion. The brain sends signals to the heart, so they ARE synced, I just have to figure out what each feeling means....and last but not least, God fancies me just as much as I fancy him, and when that's the case, I don't need to worry about guys and if they fancy me. If they don't? Cool. If they do? Right on.
Blogging helps me see through the stained glass windows in life.
Sleep doesn't sound so terrible at this point.
Nothing short of an optimist,
Emily Page!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
My only question is Why?
Today was full of so much anxiety. I haven't felt like this in ages. If there's one thing guys are really good at, it's making me feel extremely anxious in the worst of ways.
This morning, I decided to be a little difficult and text Mr. Perfect. I'm more than willing to bet he is already confused with the situation he's in, and I had to go and rough things up a smidgen more for him. Sometimes I find myself doing things that are completely unnecessary. This was one of those things.
A hint of anger was all it took for me to decide that I was going to show someone how I truly felt for the first time in a long time. Anger is one of the many emotions that I forget to reveal at it's golden moment. For no reason in particular, today was the day I remembered that it was okay to be angry. Words slipped out that weren't supposed to, and I rolled out sentences that made no sense and were inappropriate for the time being. Let's just settle with...I was acting a fool.
There is really no apology that will make everything better. Nothing will be the same or how I wanted. In a sense, I feel as though I messed things up, but in reality, things happen. Things that you don't really expect are the ones that you should have expected all along. I'm getting used to the situation, but I don't want to. I'm becoming okay with the fact that I won't wake up to a "Good Morning" text from Mr. Perfect, and I'm probably not going to be chilling with him anytime soon. Other guys text me, but it's not the same. The feelings aren't there, and forgetting about the feelings I have for Mr. Perfect will be a very arduous task.
Blink 182 has been playing from my Spotify all night. Although this is Mr. Perfect's favorite band, I'm not just listening to it because it reminds me of him. This music group used to be one of my favorites as well, and I forgot how much I enjoyed a good listen.
At this point I don't know what I'm going to do. Moving on is an option and I've done it many times before, but this time it feels different. It's not as easy.
Guys have already been trying to get a hold of me, and for what?
My friend from North Carolina has mentioned that he's sure a there's a line of guys waiting for me. That's not what I want to hear. I'm sure some girl would be flattered and think that's a nice compliment, but I don't want those guys...I want one, one that has already struck my fancy and without really even trying.
This, for lack of better terms, sucks.
Don't ask me how my heart is doing,
emily.page.
P.s. On a more positive note, I hope to be on my way to St. Louis at this time tomorrow.
This morning, I decided to be a little difficult and text Mr. Perfect. I'm more than willing to bet he is already confused with the situation he's in, and I had to go and rough things up a smidgen more for him. Sometimes I find myself doing things that are completely unnecessary. This was one of those things.
A hint of anger was all it took for me to decide that I was going to show someone how I truly felt for the first time in a long time. Anger is one of the many emotions that I forget to reveal at it's golden moment. For no reason in particular, today was the day I remembered that it was okay to be angry. Words slipped out that weren't supposed to, and I rolled out sentences that made no sense and were inappropriate for the time being. Let's just settle with...I was acting a fool.
There is really no apology that will make everything better. Nothing will be the same or how I wanted. In a sense, I feel as though I messed things up, but in reality, things happen. Things that you don't really expect are the ones that you should have expected all along. I'm getting used to the situation, but I don't want to. I'm becoming okay with the fact that I won't wake up to a "Good Morning" text from Mr. Perfect, and I'm probably not going to be chilling with him anytime soon. Other guys text me, but it's not the same. The feelings aren't there, and forgetting about the feelings I have for Mr. Perfect will be a very arduous task.
Blink 182 has been playing from my Spotify all night. Although this is Mr. Perfect's favorite band, I'm not just listening to it because it reminds me of him. This music group used to be one of my favorites as well, and I forgot how much I enjoyed a good listen.
At this point I don't know what I'm going to do. Moving on is an option and I've done it many times before, but this time it feels different. It's not as easy.
Guys have already been trying to get a hold of me, and for what?
My friend from North Carolina has mentioned that he's sure a there's a line of guys waiting for me. That's not what I want to hear. I'm sure some girl would be flattered and think that's a nice compliment, but I don't want those guys...I want one, one that has already struck my fancy and without really even trying.
This, for lack of better terms, sucks.
Don't ask me how my heart is doing,
emily.page.
P.s. On a more positive note, I hope to be on my way to St. Louis at this time tomorrow.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Topping off this bitter sweet life of mine...Confusion.
It's wonderful to be back on this blog site. There hasn't been much to share recently, but lately is another story. My last blog went on about this guy that won my heart over. I'm here to tell you that there is way more to my life than this simple game in which he won the first round. He was looking to hurt me, and I was somehow willing to let him. Waiting until I was 18 seemed like a legit decision for this 20 year old fellow until I realized what his intentions really were. Something about this guy really intrigued me. It was as though nobody else could compare. What girl wouldn't fall for a guy who tried to understand them, make them feel great, and better yet, blog about them?! Seriously!!! A BLOG!! That's a little ridiculous if you ask me, but then again what is it that I am doing here?
Lately rather than recently, I was kidnapped by my best friends. This was out of the normal for me considering how my parents are with me and leaving the house. I really didn't want to go anywhere that night. It was early in the evening, but I had been up for a rocking 31 hours. Relay for Life was the day and night before, and I was deader than a doorknob. Being sleep deprived is my scene, but I was more than hoping to catch up on sleep for the past day and a half. Working on three hours of shuteye and two very close friends of mine stole me right out of bed. They drug me to the car and took me to a friends house. My parents didn't know where I was, and I couldn't tell them. My phone was broken. I'm lucky they still love me after coming home a day later than I should have.
Being here was a drag. I could never tell them, but I was tired. What more can one expect?!
It got deeper and deeper into the night when my best friends told me about this guy that was "perfect for me." I had a hard time believing that there was anybody more meant for me than this older saxophone player. When the guy that was "perfect for me" showed up, I didn't really think that there could/would ever be anything between us. We turned out having pretty similar tastes, but I was still not convinced. I went home the next day without really saying goodbye, so I did what any other Facebook addict would do...I searched for him on "Stalkbook" and left him a message. I said nothing but a simple thanks for taking care of me the night before. It was a little rough, but there's no need to go into detail.
Sparking this conversation brought me away from everybody else in the world. It takes somebody really special to take my mind off of the guy I had originally felt was right for me. The more I talked to Mr. Perfect, the less I thought about this saxophonist.
I say Mr. Perfect because I do not wish to reveal to this bloggerverse who I am in fact talking about. They know who they are if the decide to read this or if they just accidentally come across it...
So, Mr. Perfect's cousin is my best friend's boyfriend. He came up to me one day and told me how much he liked that his cousin and I were "talking." I've never really had somebody tell me that before. It was nice to hear that somebody approved of me for somebody else. Not only that feeling, but also the feeling Mr. Perfect gave me was better than anything else I've ever felt...ever.
Every time I saw Mr. Perfect, I had the worst case of butterflies. There was no cure for these, but I didn't want them to leave. I loved this feeling...It was really something.
Seeing, calling, and texting this person were all things I looked forward to every single day. A simple "Good Morning" could put the biggest smile on my face and make my day the best it could be.
As all good things do, this small relationship I had built so carefully had come to an end. Somewhere in this rush of amazing, there was a little bit of a realization.
Life will move on in the fall. We will both have to go our separate ways, and it will be more than difficult to keep a strong relationship that is so distant. At this point, I was sad and angry. These are two emotions that don't really come and go easily. My brain was on think overload. I had no idea how to react to the situation that was just brought to my attention. Emily=Mind blown.
Being an expert at long distance relationships, I understood completely that distance isn't fun.
I'm not sure how to end this blog, I want to go on forever.
If there is one thing that I know for sure, it is this:
Mr. perfect has become quite a good friend. He respects people and isn't selfish. It's not everyday you find such a character as him. I'm hoping one day to maybe continue this relationship, but there is no telling.
There is way more to this, but I suppose my brain isn't really ready to form words that can explain it correctly.
Boarding this crazy train of confusion,
Emily Page.
P.s. I'm 18, and I don't know what I want. #SongOfTheDay
Lately rather than recently, I was kidnapped by my best friends. This was out of the normal for me considering how my parents are with me and leaving the house. I really didn't want to go anywhere that night. It was early in the evening, but I had been up for a rocking 31 hours. Relay for Life was the day and night before, and I was deader than a doorknob. Being sleep deprived is my scene, but I was more than hoping to catch up on sleep for the past day and a half. Working on three hours of shuteye and two very close friends of mine stole me right out of bed. They drug me to the car and took me to a friends house. My parents didn't know where I was, and I couldn't tell them. My phone was broken. I'm lucky they still love me after coming home a day later than I should have.
Being here was a drag. I could never tell them, but I was tired. What more can one expect?!
It got deeper and deeper into the night when my best friends told me about this guy that was "perfect for me." I had a hard time believing that there was anybody more meant for me than this older saxophone player. When the guy that was "perfect for me" showed up, I didn't really think that there could/would ever be anything between us. We turned out having pretty similar tastes, but I was still not convinced. I went home the next day without really saying goodbye, so I did what any other Facebook addict would do...I searched for him on "Stalkbook" and left him a message. I said nothing but a simple thanks for taking care of me the night before. It was a little rough, but there's no need to go into detail.
Sparking this conversation brought me away from everybody else in the world. It takes somebody really special to take my mind off of the guy I had originally felt was right for me. The more I talked to Mr. Perfect, the less I thought about this saxophonist.
I say Mr. Perfect because I do not wish to reveal to this bloggerverse who I am in fact talking about. They know who they are if the decide to read this or if they just accidentally come across it...
So, Mr. Perfect's cousin is my best friend's boyfriend. He came up to me one day and told me how much he liked that his cousin and I were "talking." I've never really had somebody tell me that before. It was nice to hear that somebody approved of me for somebody else. Not only that feeling, but also the feeling Mr. Perfect gave me was better than anything else I've ever felt...ever.
Every time I saw Mr. Perfect, I had the worst case of butterflies. There was no cure for these, but I didn't want them to leave. I loved this feeling...It was really something.
Seeing, calling, and texting this person were all things I looked forward to every single day. A simple "Good Morning" could put the biggest smile on my face and make my day the best it could be.
As all good things do, this small relationship I had built so carefully had come to an end. Somewhere in this rush of amazing, there was a little bit of a realization.
Life will move on in the fall. We will both have to go our separate ways, and it will be more than difficult to keep a strong relationship that is so distant. At this point, I was sad and angry. These are two emotions that don't really come and go easily. My brain was on think overload. I had no idea how to react to the situation that was just brought to my attention. Emily=Mind blown.
Being an expert at long distance relationships, I understood completely that distance isn't fun.
I'm not sure how to end this blog, I want to go on forever.
If there is one thing that I know for sure, it is this:
Mr. perfect has become quite a good friend. He respects people and isn't selfish. It's not everyday you find such a character as him. I'm hoping one day to maybe continue this relationship, but there is no telling.
There is way more to this, but I suppose my brain isn't really ready to form words that can explain it correctly.
Boarding this crazy train of confusion,
Emily Page.
P.s. I'm 18, and I don't know what I want. #SongOfTheDay
Monday, June 4, 2012
I like you.
School is out, and this girl is now a graduate of White Cloud high school! It still hasn't really hit me yet, but it will. Time to find myself a job. A small place like White Cloud should have plenty of those, right?! Pshh.. Probably not. This will be an interesting little scavenger hunt.
My bestie's open house was yesterday along with a few others. I was the last one to leave his house...I do live right next to him. He is the bestie.
After sleeping most of my day away, I took a little trip to Allendale. Although I may seem smart being in the top ten of my class, I do have my flaws. It took me probably 20 extra minutes to find the place I had set as my destination. It was well worth the trip, though. A very handsome guy met me there, and we just explored and hung out for the rest of the day.
I must have been in shock considering my whole quiet factor. I'm never quiet unless this is the case. For some reason my brain could not find the right words to say, and my mouth wouldn't allow itself to form into the shapes of the words that I couldn't think of. Words were too complex, but a kiss on the other hand was a simple and friendly way to communicate with this significant male friend of mine. He's a real sweetheart. Our next trip should be to the beach...at least that's the trip I have planned, but who knows?
I'm looking forward to the next time I see this lovely guy.
Why does my brain think until it has thunk too much?!
Time for some music and crushed ice. Satisfying my latest addictions...rather old ones that I still have.
Thinking way too much...but they are good thoughts,
Emily Page.
My bestie's open house was yesterday along with a few others. I was the last one to leave his house...I do live right next to him. He is the bestie.
After sleeping most of my day away, I took a little trip to Allendale. Although I may seem smart being in the top ten of my class, I do have my flaws. It took me probably 20 extra minutes to find the place I had set as my destination. It was well worth the trip, though. A very handsome guy met me there, and we just explored and hung out for the rest of the day.
I must have been in shock considering my whole quiet factor. I'm never quiet unless this is the case. For some reason my brain could not find the right words to say, and my mouth wouldn't allow itself to form into the shapes of the words that I couldn't think of. Words were too complex, but a kiss on the other hand was a simple and friendly way to communicate with this significant male friend of mine. He's a real sweetheart. Our next trip should be to the beach...at least that's the trip I have planned, but who knows?
I'm looking forward to the next time I see this lovely guy.
Why does my brain think until it has thunk too much?!
Time for some music and crushed ice. Satisfying my latest addictions...rather old ones that I still have.
Thinking way too much...but they are good thoughts,
Emily Page.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
My weekend...and then some.
I've never been so out of whack in my entire life. Everything is screwed up, and I can't seem to make things right. My attention span is slowly fading to the bare minimum, and my memory is giving up on me. It's senior year, so my lack of motivation is sickening. I'm not quite sure what to do anymore in relation to becoming motivated again and learning how to make fun of what I have to live with every day of my life. Forgetting what I've learned is a habit that only seems to be getting worse as each day progresses. Time needs to be set aside for me to just think about life and what needs to happen to me before I go insane.
Something about a white screen makes me forget everything that I wanted to share with the internet world. From the beginning of the day to the moment I open a new post box, I have thought up many topics to ramble on about. As soon as I click the "new post" button, my brain decides to become vacant. I can't remember anything that was previously on my mind. This is very frustrating, because there is a lot that I don't understand about the world we live in. Maybe someone who comes across one of my posts can educate me on these topics as soon as they come back to me.
Graduation is weeks away, and I'm so sick of school. There is this feeling in my soul that makes me feel trapped or tied down to an anchor. My life is being held under a giant body of water, and I can't breathe. I need a super hero to come save me and give me a reason to keep on keeping on. Some inspiration would be awesome....I might start painting to create a solace for my mind.
This weekend was extremely busy for me. Usually weekends start on Friday, but mine started on Thursday. That night, I had a soccer game against Shelby. We lost by 7 which is really depressing, but I'll get over it. After the game, I had an early night, because I actually had to get up around the time I would have normally fallen asleep. Waking up with ease at 4am on Friday morning was odd. Me and mornings generally don't get along, so I must have been excited for the day ahead of me. I was at the school by 5:30am, and I had to wait for my band instructor to arrive. The doors to the school were locked, so I sat in my dad's car at the bus garage and waited with my clarinet friend who stayed the night at my house. Time passed, and we were on our way to Manistee with the band. We were escorted by a police car and a fire truck until we were out of town....the whole mile!
At state band festival, we earned a division two rating. For some reason, that made me really upset. Of course, I didn't show any emotion as I have learned not to.
Coming home was a race. I was supposed to be back to the church by 3pm only to jump in another vehicle for 3 hours. I was late as per usual, so I was upset for a moment. I then realized it would be okay.
Acquire the Fire was held in East Lancing at Michigan State University. The event took place in the Breslin Center. The preacher had the swag of my ex-boyfriend in the way he talked and told jokes. His messages were great, but there were 4 of them throughout the weekend....and they were all the same. Being in Lancing this weekend opened my eyes. I realized what I needed to do with my life, but it also sparked new questions for me to over think. I've got a new mindset, and learning to live with it will be a chore. God will certainly be there to help me along this journey.
We stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way home. We left early, because everybody agreed that the speaker was like a broken record. Cracker Barrel reminds me of road trips to St. Louis.
To come: The questions I have come up with and the ideas that seem impossible will be my next blog topic. It's been heavy on my heart, and talking about it might lead me to a sudden realization of what I'm supposed to do for not only my self, but for others as well.
Recovering from a long weekend,
Emily Page.
Something about a white screen makes me forget everything that I wanted to share with the internet world. From the beginning of the day to the moment I open a new post box, I have thought up many topics to ramble on about. As soon as I click the "new post" button, my brain decides to become vacant. I can't remember anything that was previously on my mind. This is very frustrating, because there is a lot that I don't understand about the world we live in. Maybe someone who comes across one of my posts can educate me on these topics as soon as they come back to me.
Graduation is weeks away, and I'm so sick of school. There is this feeling in my soul that makes me feel trapped or tied down to an anchor. My life is being held under a giant body of water, and I can't breathe. I need a super hero to come save me and give me a reason to keep on keeping on. Some inspiration would be awesome....I might start painting to create a solace for my mind.
This weekend was extremely busy for me. Usually weekends start on Friday, but mine started on Thursday. That night, I had a soccer game against Shelby. We lost by 7 which is really depressing, but I'll get over it. After the game, I had an early night, because I actually had to get up around the time I would have normally fallen asleep. Waking up with ease at 4am on Friday morning was odd. Me and mornings generally don't get along, so I must have been excited for the day ahead of me. I was at the school by 5:30am, and I had to wait for my band instructor to arrive. The doors to the school were locked, so I sat in my dad's car at the bus garage and waited with my clarinet friend who stayed the night at my house. Time passed, and we were on our way to Manistee with the band. We were escorted by a police car and a fire truck until we were out of town....the whole mile!
At state band festival, we earned a division two rating. For some reason, that made me really upset. Of course, I didn't show any emotion as I have learned not to.
Coming home was a race. I was supposed to be back to the church by 3pm only to jump in another vehicle for 3 hours. I was late as per usual, so I was upset for a moment. I then realized it would be okay.
Acquire the Fire was held in East Lancing at Michigan State University. The event took place in the Breslin Center. The preacher had the swag of my ex-boyfriend in the way he talked and told jokes. His messages were great, but there were 4 of them throughout the weekend....and they were all the same. Being in Lancing this weekend opened my eyes. I realized what I needed to do with my life, but it also sparked new questions for me to over think. I've got a new mindset, and learning to live with it will be a chore. God will certainly be there to help me along this journey.
We stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way home. We left early, because everybody agreed that the speaker was like a broken record. Cracker Barrel reminds me of road trips to St. Louis.
To come: The questions I have come up with and the ideas that seem impossible will be my next blog topic. It's been heavy on my heart, and talking about it might lead me to a sudden realization of what I'm supposed to do for not only my self, but for others as well.
Recovering from a long weekend,
Emily Page.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Brain Blurb.
I'm sick of trying to pretend that everything is okay. People see me inside of this "Emily Box," and I can never have a bad day. "Emily is always supposed to be happy." "Emily is always supposed to have good days." "Emily is always supposed to know what to do to contain herself." "Nothing bad ever happens to Emily."
Let me tell you that these statements are all lies. The devil is stepping inside of my life, and he is trying to wreck me.
It's an interesting situation. The devil isn't coming at me by himself. He is using the help of my friends and family. Every comment they make can either make me or break me, but it's my choice whether or not I let it. At this point in my life, I choose to let it make me. The sentences they spill at me will only make me stronger as a person, and they will build my mental state making me more mentally stable than most people. Life is a game, and I plan on winning.
Speaking of mental states, I've been looking into this subject quite a bit over the past few weeks. Knowing that my state of mind is similar to the muscles I use in soccer, I understand that it will only get stronger as life's challenges become more difficult. I'm ready to take on the world and overcome such stress.
People who are mentally unstable have also taught me some important lessons in life. They showed me that you won't get very far in life if you are weak. You have to use all of the obstacles in life to create an understanding of the world we live in. As difficult as that may be, it has to happen.
Just a little thought for today,
Emily Page.
Let me tell you that these statements are all lies. The devil is stepping inside of my life, and he is trying to wreck me.
It's an interesting situation. The devil isn't coming at me by himself. He is using the help of my friends and family. Every comment they make can either make me or break me, but it's my choice whether or not I let it. At this point in my life, I choose to let it make me. The sentences they spill at me will only make me stronger as a person, and they will build my mental state making me more mentally stable than most people. Life is a game, and I plan on winning.
Speaking of mental states, I've been looking into this subject quite a bit over the past few weeks. Knowing that my state of mind is similar to the muscles I use in soccer, I understand that it will only get stronger as life's challenges become more difficult. I'm ready to take on the world and overcome such stress.
People who are mentally unstable have also taught me some important lessons in life. They showed me that you won't get very far in life if you are weak. You have to use all of the obstacles in life to create an understanding of the world we live in. As difficult as that may be, it has to happen.
Just a little thought for today,
Emily Page.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
These Days...Those Days...
Today was a great day to sleep in. I didn't finish my Spanish homework, and I fell asleep before I could get it done, so school didn't sound like the best place to go. There were moments when I thought I should have just went to school, but I have senioritis, and I couldn't help but remain motionless for this whole day. I couldn't even get out of bed. If my bed were a person, I could safely say that it is definitely my type. Oh, what a relationship we would have.
Speaking of relationships, I just can't seem to find one that makes me the happiest. It's really sad, but I guess it's all in God's time. Sometimes there are boys that come along and think that we have something going on, but we really don't. I absolutely hate that I can't have guy friend without them thinking there is more to our relationship than the "just friends" status. Grr. It's also very hard to find a nice Christian guy.
I do have standards, but they aren't even too high. I suppose making higher standards would lessen the chances of me finding the wrong guy and feeling bad when I tell him. This hurts my brain.
Very recently, I made friends with this very nice guy. He lives far away, but isn't that always the case? I generally only find nice guys from far away places. I hope that I have more to say about this lovely gentleman in the future.
Sunday is Winterjam! I'm super excited! This is what I need!! It will be that extra large boost that will help me on my walk with God! My life has needed a little bit of a crutch in the religious area. Actually, I need a wheel chair in that sense. I'm hopeful, and I have so many supportive people there to encourage me. It's the listening part that needs work.
Spanish homework is the last thing I want to do, but it's got to be done! I'M DONE WITH SPANISH CLASS! WHY CAN'T I JUST SPEAK SPANISH FLUENTLY?! Erm...uh...I mean, I love Spanish. I'd love it more if I already knew it.
Tonight I can't stop listening to my favorite Spotify station. It's full of Death Cab for Cutie, Zee Avi, Ingrid Michaelson, Gregory and the Hawk, Iron and Wine, and Nora Jones. I love these artists! They really strike my fancy.
So, what if I meet a very nice guy, but he doesn't believe in God. The Bible says not to yoke yourself with unbelievers, but he is so nice. I won't go against the Bible. I guess I just wish he was a Christian, because he is the nicest boy I have ever met. Maybe I could help lead him to Christ....but in that case, I don't want him to do it because that's what I want. As much as that is what I think is best, I want him to actually and truly believe that there is a God who loves us. It's very hard to promote that idea these days.
Trying to think right now is like trying to use hash tags on Facebook. It just doesn't work out how I want it to. (Someone once told me that I was very clever with my analogies...that made me smile.)
Hmm..what if people don't even read what I have to say? Wouldn't that be silly?
This night has just begun, but it's as if I have completely forgotten how to incorporate grammar into my writing. Go figure...a lazy senior who forgets grammar.
Hopeful,
emily page.
Speaking of relationships, I just can't seem to find one that makes me the happiest. It's really sad, but I guess it's all in God's time. Sometimes there are boys that come along and think that we have something going on, but we really don't. I absolutely hate that I can't have guy friend without them thinking there is more to our relationship than the "just friends" status. Grr. It's also very hard to find a nice Christian guy.
I do have standards, but they aren't even too high. I suppose making higher standards would lessen the chances of me finding the wrong guy and feeling bad when I tell him. This hurts my brain.
Very recently, I made friends with this very nice guy. He lives far away, but isn't that always the case? I generally only find nice guys from far away places. I hope that I have more to say about this lovely gentleman in the future.
Sunday is Winterjam! I'm super excited! This is what I need!! It will be that extra large boost that will help me on my walk with God! My life has needed a little bit of a crutch in the religious area. Actually, I need a wheel chair in that sense. I'm hopeful, and I have so many supportive people there to encourage me. It's the listening part that needs work.
Spanish homework is the last thing I want to do, but it's got to be done! I'M DONE WITH SPANISH CLASS! WHY CAN'T I JUST SPEAK SPANISH FLUENTLY?! Erm...uh...I mean, I love Spanish. I'd love it more if I already knew it.
Tonight I can't stop listening to my favorite Spotify station. It's full of Death Cab for Cutie, Zee Avi, Ingrid Michaelson, Gregory and the Hawk, Iron and Wine, and Nora Jones. I love these artists! They really strike my fancy.
So, what if I meet a very nice guy, but he doesn't believe in God. The Bible says not to yoke yourself with unbelievers, but he is so nice. I won't go against the Bible. I guess I just wish he was a Christian, because he is the nicest boy I have ever met. Maybe I could help lead him to Christ....but in that case, I don't want him to do it because that's what I want. As much as that is what I think is best, I want him to actually and truly believe that there is a God who loves us. It's very hard to promote that idea these days.
Trying to think right now is like trying to use hash tags on Facebook. It just doesn't work out how I want it to. (Someone once told me that I was very clever with my analogies...that made me smile.)
Hmm..what if people don't even read what I have to say? Wouldn't that be silly?
This night has just begun, but it's as if I have completely forgotten how to incorporate grammar into my writing. Go figure...a lazy senior who forgets grammar.
Hopeful,
emily page.
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