It's wonderful to be back on this blog site. There hasn't been much to share recently, but lately is another story. My last blog went on about this guy that won my heart over. I'm here to tell you that there is way more to my life than this simple game in which he won the first round. He was looking to hurt me, and I was somehow willing to let him. Waiting until I was 18 seemed like a legit decision for this 20 year old fellow until I realized what his intentions really were. Something about this guy really intrigued me. It was as though nobody else could compare. What girl wouldn't fall for a guy who tried to understand them, make them feel great, and better yet, blog about them?! Seriously!!! A BLOG!! That's a little ridiculous if you ask me, but then again what is it that I am doing here?
Lately rather than recently, I was kidnapped by my best friends. This was out of the normal for me considering how my parents are with me and leaving the house. I really didn't want to go anywhere that night. It was early in the evening, but I had been up for a rocking 31 hours. Relay for Life was the day and night before, and I was deader than a doorknob. Being sleep deprived is my scene, but I was more than hoping to catch up on sleep for the past day and a half. Working on three hours of shuteye and two very close friends of mine stole me right out of bed. They drug me to the car and took me to a friends house. My parents didn't know where I was, and I couldn't tell them. My phone was broken. I'm lucky they still love me after coming home a day later than I should have.
Being here was a drag. I could never tell them, but I was tired. What more can one expect?!
It got deeper and deeper into the night when my best friends told me about this guy that was "perfect for me." I had a hard time believing that there was anybody more meant for me than this older saxophone player. When the guy that was "perfect for me" showed up, I didn't really think that there could/would ever be anything between us. We turned out having pretty similar tastes, but I was still not convinced. I went home the next day without really saying goodbye, so I did what any other Facebook addict would do...I searched for him on "Stalkbook" and left him a message. I said nothing but a simple thanks for taking care of me the night before. It was a little rough, but there's no need to go into detail.
Sparking this conversation brought me away from everybody else in the world. It takes somebody really special to take my mind off of the guy I had originally felt was right for me. The more I talked to Mr. Perfect, the less I thought about this saxophonist.
I say Mr. Perfect because I do not wish to reveal to this bloggerverse who I am in fact talking about. They know who they are if the decide to read this or if they just accidentally come across it...
So, Mr. Perfect's cousin is my best friend's boyfriend. He came up to me one day and told me how much he liked that his cousin and I were "talking." I've never really had somebody tell me that before. It was nice to hear that somebody approved of me for somebody else. Not only that feeling, but also the feeling Mr. Perfect gave me was better than anything else I've ever felt...ever.
Every time I saw Mr. Perfect, I had the worst case of butterflies. There was no cure for these, but I didn't want them to leave. I loved this feeling...It was really something.
Seeing, calling, and texting this person were all things I looked forward to every single day. A simple "Good Morning" could put the biggest smile on my face and make my day the best it could be.
As all good things do, this small relationship I had built so carefully had come to an end. Somewhere in this rush of amazing, there was a little bit of a realization.
Life will move on in the fall. We will both have to go our separate ways, and it will be more than difficult to keep a strong relationship that is so distant. At this point, I was sad and angry. These are two emotions that don't really come and go easily. My brain was on think overload. I had no idea how to react to the situation that was just brought to my attention. Emily=Mind blown.
Being an expert at long distance relationships, I understood completely that distance isn't fun.
I'm not sure how to end this blog, I want to go on forever.
If there is one thing that I know for sure, it is this:
Mr. perfect has become quite a good friend. He respects people and isn't selfish. It's not everyday you find such a character as him. I'm hoping one day to maybe continue this relationship, but there is no telling.
There is way more to this, but I suppose my brain isn't really ready to form words that can explain it correctly.
Boarding this crazy train of confusion,
Emily Page.
P.s. I'm 18, and I don't know what I want. #SongOfTheDay
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