Today wasn't too terribly awful. Mr. Saxobeat played on my Spotify this evening, and that had it's own special way of cheering me up. I'm sure to the world, rather people who read any of my blogs, I seem like a sad and depressed mug. Although it looks that way, anyone who truly knows me knows that I can never be sad for a long period of time. There is too much in life to be excited about!
Right now isn't one of those exciting, happy moments, but I like to think it is. The brighter side gives me a better tan.
Speaking of tan, whilst I was mowing my lawn in my swimsuit, I caught a few rays. My feet are still pretty white, and I have a faint TOMS tan line, but the rest of me has bronzed quite nicely.
Completing ab workouts has become but a chore. I love having my summer body year round, but I suppose I've been eating way too much bacon. My six pack is gone, and my motto, "Sick pack don't hold back" rolled right to the back of my noggin only to be forgotten.
Wait a tick, it has not been forgotten...since I remember, I might as well stick to it.
My bed is calling my name, but I'm not tired. Staying awake only makes me think about the worst things can be, but going to bed will only make me dream about those things. I debated which would be worse for me. So far, staying awake would be best. Sleeping only creates a more realistic setting for my thoughts to tell their story.
Why is this worse than the first time around? Why is it possible for guys to make girls feel like this? Why can't I control when I do and don't feel like this? Why aren't our brains synced with our hearts? Why is it so difficult to find someone who fancies you just as much as you fancy them?...Why am I so stupid?
Hmm. That last question really got me. Why am I so stupid? I'm not stupid. My body only wants me to think this is worse than the first time around. Guys have no power over me. I can control what I do and who I am with which in turn will control my level of emotion. The brain sends signals to the heart, so they ARE synced, I just have to figure out what each feeling means....and last but not least, God fancies me just as much as I fancy him, and when that's the case, I don't need to worry about guys and if they fancy me. If they don't? Cool. If they do? Right on.
Blogging helps me see through the stained glass windows in life.
Sleep doesn't sound so terrible at this point.
Nothing short of an optimist,
Emily Page!
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