School is out, and this girl is now a graduate of White Cloud high school! It still hasn't really hit me yet, but it will. Time to find myself a job. A small place like White Cloud should have plenty of those, right?! Pshh.. Probably not. This will be an interesting little scavenger hunt.
My bestie's open house was yesterday along with a few others. I was the last one to leave his house...I do live right next to him. He is the bestie.
After sleeping most of my day away, I took a little trip to Allendale. Although I may seem smart being in the top ten of my class, I do have my flaws. It took me probably 20 extra minutes to find the place I had set as my destination. It was well worth the trip, though. A very handsome guy met me there, and we just explored and hung out for the rest of the day.
I must have been in shock considering my whole quiet factor. I'm never quiet unless this is the case. For some reason my brain could not find the right words to say, and my mouth wouldn't allow itself to form into the shapes of the words that I couldn't think of. Words were too complex, but a kiss on the other hand was a simple and friendly way to communicate with this significant male friend of mine. He's a real sweetheart. Our next trip should be to the beach...at least that's the trip I have planned, but who knows?
I'm looking forward to the next time I see this lovely guy.
Why does my brain think until it has thunk too much?!
Time for some music and crushed ice. Satisfying my latest addictions...rather old ones that I still have.
Thinking way too much...but they are good thoughts,
Emily Page.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
My weekend...and then some.
I've never been so out of whack in my entire life. Everything is screwed up, and I can't seem to make things right. My attention span is slowly fading to the bare minimum, and my memory is giving up on me. It's senior year, so my lack of motivation is sickening. I'm not quite sure what to do anymore in relation to becoming motivated again and learning how to make fun of what I have to live with every day of my life. Forgetting what I've learned is a habit that only seems to be getting worse as each day progresses. Time needs to be set aside for me to just think about life and what needs to happen to me before I go insane.
Something about a white screen makes me forget everything that I wanted to share with the internet world. From the beginning of the day to the moment I open a new post box, I have thought up many topics to ramble on about. As soon as I click the "new post" button, my brain decides to become vacant. I can't remember anything that was previously on my mind. This is very frustrating, because there is a lot that I don't understand about the world we live in. Maybe someone who comes across one of my posts can educate me on these topics as soon as they come back to me.
Graduation is weeks away, and I'm so sick of school. There is this feeling in my soul that makes me feel trapped or tied down to an anchor. My life is being held under a giant body of water, and I can't breathe. I need a super hero to come save me and give me a reason to keep on keeping on. Some inspiration would be awesome....I might start painting to create a solace for my mind.
This weekend was extremely busy for me. Usually weekends start on Friday, but mine started on Thursday. That night, I had a soccer game against Shelby. We lost by 7 which is really depressing, but I'll get over it. After the game, I had an early night, because I actually had to get up around the time I would have normally fallen asleep. Waking up with ease at 4am on Friday morning was odd. Me and mornings generally don't get along, so I must have been excited for the day ahead of me. I was at the school by 5:30am, and I had to wait for my band instructor to arrive. The doors to the school were locked, so I sat in my dad's car at the bus garage and waited with my clarinet friend who stayed the night at my house. Time passed, and we were on our way to Manistee with the band. We were escorted by a police car and a fire truck until we were out of town....the whole mile!
At state band festival, we earned a division two rating. For some reason, that made me really upset. Of course, I didn't show any emotion as I have learned not to.
Coming home was a race. I was supposed to be back to the church by 3pm only to jump in another vehicle for 3 hours. I was late as per usual, so I was upset for a moment. I then realized it would be okay.
Acquire the Fire was held in East Lancing at Michigan State University. The event took place in the Breslin Center. The preacher had the swag of my ex-boyfriend in the way he talked and told jokes. His messages were great, but there were 4 of them throughout the weekend....and they were all the same. Being in Lancing this weekend opened my eyes. I realized what I needed to do with my life, but it also sparked new questions for me to over think. I've got a new mindset, and learning to live with it will be a chore. God will certainly be there to help me along this journey.
We stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way home. We left early, because everybody agreed that the speaker was like a broken record. Cracker Barrel reminds me of road trips to St. Louis.
To come: The questions I have come up with and the ideas that seem impossible will be my next blog topic. It's been heavy on my heart, and talking about it might lead me to a sudden realization of what I'm supposed to do for not only my self, but for others as well.
Recovering from a long weekend,
Emily Page.
Something about a white screen makes me forget everything that I wanted to share with the internet world. From the beginning of the day to the moment I open a new post box, I have thought up many topics to ramble on about. As soon as I click the "new post" button, my brain decides to become vacant. I can't remember anything that was previously on my mind. This is very frustrating, because there is a lot that I don't understand about the world we live in. Maybe someone who comes across one of my posts can educate me on these topics as soon as they come back to me.
Graduation is weeks away, and I'm so sick of school. There is this feeling in my soul that makes me feel trapped or tied down to an anchor. My life is being held under a giant body of water, and I can't breathe. I need a super hero to come save me and give me a reason to keep on keeping on. Some inspiration would be awesome....I might start painting to create a solace for my mind.
This weekend was extremely busy for me. Usually weekends start on Friday, but mine started on Thursday. That night, I had a soccer game against Shelby. We lost by 7 which is really depressing, but I'll get over it. After the game, I had an early night, because I actually had to get up around the time I would have normally fallen asleep. Waking up with ease at 4am on Friday morning was odd. Me and mornings generally don't get along, so I must have been excited for the day ahead of me. I was at the school by 5:30am, and I had to wait for my band instructor to arrive. The doors to the school were locked, so I sat in my dad's car at the bus garage and waited with my clarinet friend who stayed the night at my house. Time passed, and we were on our way to Manistee with the band. We were escorted by a police car and a fire truck until we were out of town....the whole mile!
At state band festival, we earned a division two rating. For some reason, that made me really upset. Of course, I didn't show any emotion as I have learned not to.
Coming home was a race. I was supposed to be back to the church by 3pm only to jump in another vehicle for 3 hours. I was late as per usual, so I was upset for a moment. I then realized it would be okay.
Acquire the Fire was held in East Lancing at Michigan State University. The event took place in the Breslin Center. The preacher had the swag of my ex-boyfriend in the way he talked and told jokes. His messages were great, but there were 4 of them throughout the weekend....and they were all the same. Being in Lancing this weekend opened my eyes. I realized what I needed to do with my life, but it also sparked new questions for me to over think. I've got a new mindset, and learning to live with it will be a chore. God will certainly be there to help me along this journey.
We stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way home. We left early, because everybody agreed that the speaker was like a broken record. Cracker Barrel reminds me of road trips to St. Louis.
To come: The questions I have come up with and the ideas that seem impossible will be my next blog topic. It's been heavy on my heart, and talking about it might lead me to a sudden realization of what I'm supposed to do for not only my self, but for others as well.
Recovering from a long weekend,
Emily Page.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Brain Blurb.
I'm sick of trying to pretend that everything is okay. People see me inside of this "Emily Box," and I can never have a bad day. "Emily is always supposed to be happy." "Emily is always supposed to have good days." "Emily is always supposed to know what to do to contain herself." "Nothing bad ever happens to Emily."
Let me tell you that these statements are all lies. The devil is stepping inside of my life, and he is trying to wreck me.
It's an interesting situation. The devil isn't coming at me by himself. He is using the help of my friends and family. Every comment they make can either make me or break me, but it's my choice whether or not I let it. At this point in my life, I choose to let it make me. The sentences they spill at me will only make me stronger as a person, and they will build my mental state making me more mentally stable than most people. Life is a game, and I plan on winning.
Speaking of mental states, I've been looking into this subject quite a bit over the past few weeks. Knowing that my state of mind is similar to the muscles I use in soccer, I understand that it will only get stronger as life's challenges become more difficult. I'm ready to take on the world and overcome such stress.
People who are mentally unstable have also taught me some important lessons in life. They showed me that you won't get very far in life if you are weak. You have to use all of the obstacles in life to create an understanding of the world we live in. As difficult as that may be, it has to happen.
Just a little thought for today,
Emily Page.
Let me tell you that these statements are all lies. The devil is stepping inside of my life, and he is trying to wreck me.
It's an interesting situation. The devil isn't coming at me by himself. He is using the help of my friends and family. Every comment they make can either make me or break me, but it's my choice whether or not I let it. At this point in my life, I choose to let it make me. The sentences they spill at me will only make me stronger as a person, and they will build my mental state making me more mentally stable than most people. Life is a game, and I plan on winning.
Speaking of mental states, I've been looking into this subject quite a bit over the past few weeks. Knowing that my state of mind is similar to the muscles I use in soccer, I understand that it will only get stronger as life's challenges become more difficult. I'm ready to take on the world and overcome such stress.
People who are mentally unstable have also taught me some important lessons in life. They showed me that you won't get very far in life if you are weak. You have to use all of the obstacles in life to create an understanding of the world we live in. As difficult as that may be, it has to happen.
Just a little thought for today,
Emily Page.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
These Days...Those Days...
Today was a great day to sleep in. I didn't finish my Spanish homework, and I fell asleep before I could get it done, so school didn't sound like the best place to go. There were moments when I thought I should have just went to school, but I have senioritis, and I couldn't help but remain motionless for this whole day. I couldn't even get out of bed. If my bed were a person, I could safely say that it is definitely my type. Oh, what a relationship we would have.
Speaking of relationships, I just can't seem to find one that makes me the happiest. It's really sad, but I guess it's all in God's time. Sometimes there are boys that come along and think that we have something going on, but we really don't. I absolutely hate that I can't have guy friend without them thinking there is more to our relationship than the "just friends" status. Grr. It's also very hard to find a nice Christian guy.
I do have standards, but they aren't even too high. I suppose making higher standards would lessen the chances of me finding the wrong guy and feeling bad when I tell him. This hurts my brain.
Very recently, I made friends with this very nice guy. He lives far away, but isn't that always the case? I generally only find nice guys from far away places. I hope that I have more to say about this lovely gentleman in the future.
Sunday is Winterjam! I'm super excited! This is what I need!! It will be that extra large boost that will help me on my walk with God! My life has needed a little bit of a crutch in the religious area. Actually, I need a wheel chair in that sense. I'm hopeful, and I have so many supportive people there to encourage me. It's the listening part that needs work.
Spanish homework is the last thing I want to do, but it's got to be done! I'M DONE WITH SPANISH CLASS! WHY CAN'T I JUST SPEAK SPANISH FLUENTLY?! Erm...uh...I mean, I love Spanish. I'd love it more if I already knew it.
Tonight I can't stop listening to my favorite Spotify station. It's full of Death Cab for Cutie, Zee Avi, Ingrid Michaelson, Gregory and the Hawk, Iron and Wine, and Nora Jones. I love these artists! They really strike my fancy.
So, what if I meet a very nice guy, but he doesn't believe in God. The Bible says not to yoke yourself with unbelievers, but he is so nice. I won't go against the Bible. I guess I just wish he was a Christian, because he is the nicest boy I have ever met. Maybe I could help lead him to Christ....but in that case, I don't want him to do it because that's what I want. As much as that is what I think is best, I want him to actually and truly believe that there is a God who loves us. It's very hard to promote that idea these days.
Trying to think right now is like trying to use hash tags on Facebook. It just doesn't work out how I want it to. (Someone once told me that I was very clever with my analogies...that made me smile.)
Hmm..what if people don't even read what I have to say? Wouldn't that be silly?
This night has just begun, but it's as if I have completely forgotten how to incorporate grammar into my writing. Go figure...a lazy senior who forgets grammar.
Hopeful,
emily page.
Speaking of relationships, I just can't seem to find one that makes me the happiest. It's really sad, but I guess it's all in God's time. Sometimes there are boys that come along and think that we have something going on, but we really don't. I absolutely hate that I can't have guy friend without them thinking there is more to our relationship than the "just friends" status. Grr. It's also very hard to find a nice Christian guy.
I do have standards, but they aren't even too high. I suppose making higher standards would lessen the chances of me finding the wrong guy and feeling bad when I tell him. This hurts my brain.
Very recently, I made friends with this very nice guy. He lives far away, but isn't that always the case? I generally only find nice guys from far away places. I hope that I have more to say about this lovely gentleman in the future.
Sunday is Winterjam! I'm super excited! This is what I need!! It will be that extra large boost that will help me on my walk with God! My life has needed a little bit of a crutch in the religious area. Actually, I need a wheel chair in that sense. I'm hopeful, and I have so many supportive people there to encourage me. It's the listening part that needs work.
Spanish homework is the last thing I want to do, but it's got to be done! I'M DONE WITH SPANISH CLASS! WHY CAN'T I JUST SPEAK SPANISH FLUENTLY?! Erm...uh...I mean, I love Spanish. I'd love it more if I already knew it.
Tonight I can't stop listening to my favorite Spotify station. It's full of Death Cab for Cutie, Zee Avi, Ingrid Michaelson, Gregory and the Hawk, Iron and Wine, and Nora Jones. I love these artists! They really strike my fancy.
So, what if I meet a very nice guy, but he doesn't believe in God. The Bible says not to yoke yourself with unbelievers, but he is so nice. I won't go against the Bible. I guess I just wish he was a Christian, because he is the nicest boy I have ever met. Maybe I could help lead him to Christ....but in that case, I don't want him to do it because that's what I want. As much as that is what I think is best, I want him to actually and truly believe that there is a God who loves us. It's very hard to promote that idea these days.
Trying to think right now is like trying to use hash tags on Facebook. It just doesn't work out how I want it to. (Someone once told me that I was very clever with my analogies...that made me smile.)
Hmm..what if people don't even read what I have to say? Wouldn't that be silly?
This night has just begun, but it's as if I have completely forgotten how to incorporate grammar into my writing. Go figure...a lazy senior who forgets grammar.
Hopeful,
emily page.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Blog, #BecauseMarkSaidSo.
Dear blog site (even though blogging to someone/something is overrated),
It's been ages since I have had anything to make known to the world. My life is full of fun and excitement.
I wish that were a true statement. My life is just busy working on stuff for college. That's just around the corner, and I feel like I have little to no time to fit things in before it's too late. Really, I have all the time in the world.
High school just drags on. There's not much to say about it. The people there are awkward to be around...In other words...I'm the crazy one, and they think it's awkward. So really, it's not my fault. They need to be way more open-minded.
The man who hated my piercings mentioned that he is now getting used to them. It took time, but he finally became more of an accepting guy. That's just awesome.
My hair is red. This is one of the only colors I haven't had in my hair yet, and I've been told it looks great. That is fantastic, because I quite enjoy red fur. Not so much like a ginger though.
Soccer is going great. That is all I shall say, because I don't have any wood to knock on. It's my favorite thing in the world, so it better not be even close to terrible.
Tonight I am at a loss for words, but maybe I'll have something good to say tomorrow.
Promises always made, yet to be kept,
Emily Page.
It's been ages since I have had anything to make known to the world. My life is full of fun and excitement.
I wish that were a true statement. My life is just busy working on stuff for college. That's just around the corner, and I feel like I have little to no time to fit things in before it's too late. Really, I have all the time in the world.
High school just drags on. There's not much to say about it. The people there are awkward to be around...In other words...I'm the crazy one, and they think it's awkward. So really, it's not my fault. They need to be way more open-minded.
The man who hated my piercings mentioned that he is now getting used to them. It took time, but he finally became more of an accepting guy. That's just awesome.
My hair is red. This is one of the only colors I haven't had in my hair yet, and I've been told it looks great. That is fantastic, because I quite enjoy red fur. Not so much like a ginger though.
Soccer is going great. That is all I shall say, because I don't have any wood to knock on. It's my favorite thing in the world, so it better not be even close to terrible.
Tonight I am at a loss for words, but maybe I'll have something good to say tomorrow.
Promises always made, yet to be kept,
Emily Page.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Should Be Writing A Research Paper, But This Is What I Do Instead.
Tonight was incredible. It's been awhile since I've had a great feeling in my soul. Receiving division I ratings was definitely a great feeling after the scores we've had in previous years at our band Festivals. Hurray for great musicians in this small town.
This was my last high school band festival, and it was a great finish.
I can't help but feel super hurt when I hear that someone whose been nice to my face for forever really, truly hates my guts. That's awesome news right before festival too. I mean RIGHT before. I was actually standing outside the warm-up room. They have been soooo nice to me, and I have been nice back with more love than I ever show toward anyone. I am absolutely disgusted with them, and it is imperative that I let them know how I really feel about them and how two-faced they are.
....really, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.
After hearing such news, I went into a zone where I forgot my name, my location, and what it was that made me happy. My body went into zombie shock mode, and all I could do was stare at the floor. The words that I was supposed to comprehend made no sense to me at all, and my blurred vision only had focus on one spot of carpet.
I don't know why I let people fiddle with my brain like that. It's silly, really. Being "Emily" is not caring what people think and living how I feel life should be lived, but lately, Emily has been absent. Hopefully she will return soon, clear that absence, and be marked tardy instead.
Speaking about yourself in third person makes me giggle.
I've discovered that I enjoy coffee shops. If I could end each and every day with coffee, good jazz, a small laptop, glasses, and comfy clothes, it's quite possible that I have the potential to become an insanely chimerical writer. My girl Claire and I have already shown some great imaginative skills that we both possess.
Stories with rainbow smurfs, tree ninjas, karate teachers with monkey names, monkey kings, and many more interesting characters could develop into an advanced Dr. Seuss world. That, my friend, would be a chill life.
There is a mouse stuck on my bathtub drain. Silly little mouse! How in the world could it have come across such an immense obstacle? My sister may have drowned it, but we'll have to wait for its next cries...whether or not that happens will determine the fate of the mouse.
Twitter>Facebook....just saying. I haven't had very much math in my school year, so I thought I'd share some simple math for everyone. THIS IS THE RIGHT ANSWER.
That is all,
Emily Page.
This was my last high school band festival, and it was a great finish.
I can't help but feel super hurt when I hear that someone whose been nice to my face for forever really, truly hates my guts. That's awesome news right before festival too. I mean RIGHT before. I was actually standing outside the warm-up room. They have been soooo nice to me, and I have been nice back with more love than I ever show toward anyone. I am absolutely disgusted with them, and it is imperative that I let them know how I really feel about them and how two-faced they are.
....really, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.
After hearing such news, I went into a zone where I forgot my name, my location, and what it was that made me happy. My body went into zombie shock mode, and all I could do was stare at the floor. The words that I was supposed to comprehend made no sense to me at all, and my blurred vision only had focus on one spot of carpet.
I don't know why I let people fiddle with my brain like that. It's silly, really. Being "Emily" is not caring what people think and living how I feel life should be lived, but lately, Emily has been absent. Hopefully she will return soon, clear that absence, and be marked tardy instead.
Speaking about yourself in third person makes me giggle.
I've discovered that I enjoy coffee shops. If I could end each and every day with coffee, good jazz, a small laptop, glasses, and comfy clothes, it's quite possible that I have the potential to become an insanely chimerical writer. My girl Claire and I have already shown some great imaginative skills that we both possess.
Stories with rainbow smurfs, tree ninjas, karate teachers with monkey names, monkey kings, and many more interesting characters could develop into an advanced Dr. Seuss world. That, my friend, would be a chill life.
There is a mouse stuck on my bathtub drain. Silly little mouse! How in the world could it have come across such an immense obstacle? My sister may have drowned it, but we'll have to wait for its next cries...whether or not that happens will determine the fate of the mouse.
Twitter>Facebook....just saying. I haven't had very much math in my school year, so I thought I'd share some simple math for everyone. THIS IS THE RIGHT ANSWER.
That is all,
Emily Page.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
"Words Are Kind, They Help Ease The Mind"
Today was a great day considering the fact that I was running on 3 hours of sleep and almost a full pot of coffee. Maybe it's just natural for me to feel more awake seeing how I've made this "staying awake" thing a "nightly" habit. Despite the lack of sleep, things really seem to be looking up for me in this little game of life.
There is incredibly less hate gallivanting about.
Permanent wave treatments have the raunchiest odors known to mankind. Two perms were performed in our PM cosmetology 1 class, and the hairs in my nose have been singed right out. I'm not sure I could even come up with a worse smell. Oh, how they did remind me of Chemistry though. Call me weird, but I miss the classes where I actually had to use my brain. Cosmetology is not for me.
Our concert tonight was absolutely immaculate. The clinician helped prepare us for festival on Thursday, and he had nothing but positive things to say. There was definitely improvement in our performance. Clinicians show me another perspective of the music we play, and I enjoy that.
Music is held responsible for some of the smiles that wiggle their way above my very chin. Although screamo is a genre that I quite enjoy, artists such as Jack Johnson and those similar to him tend to strike my fancy far beyond that of screamo. It chisels away at any mental edginess and creates this bubbly character inside me. Mesmerizing could be the word I'm looking for.
There is supposed to be a storm tonight. If it doesn't come, I will be a smidgen upset. School is the last place I'd like to be tomorrow.
Twitter has become yet another addiction. Something must be done to keep me away from these silly social networks! They are anchors holding me down...I'm drowning!
My 8 page research paper is due next Wednesday. That is 7 days from now. I should probably start that considering I've already had 3 weeks to complete it. Procrastination is just another chain holding me back. What am I to do to get rid of all these terrible habits I've created for myself?!
All concentration has suddenly escaped me.
Chill night with my boy Jack Johnson,
Emily Page.
There is incredibly less hate gallivanting about.
Permanent wave treatments have the raunchiest odors known to mankind. Two perms were performed in our PM cosmetology 1 class, and the hairs in my nose have been singed right out. I'm not sure I could even come up with a worse smell. Oh, how they did remind me of Chemistry though. Call me weird, but I miss the classes where I actually had to use my brain. Cosmetology is not for me.
Our concert tonight was absolutely immaculate. The clinician helped prepare us for festival on Thursday, and he had nothing but positive things to say. There was definitely improvement in our performance. Clinicians show me another perspective of the music we play, and I enjoy that.
Music is held responsible for some of the smiles that wiggle their way above my very chin. Although screamo is a genre that I quite enjoy, artists such as Jack Johnson and those similar to him tend to strike my fancy far beyond that of screamo. It chisels away at any mental edginess and creates this bubbly character inside me. Mesmerizing could be the word I'm looking for.
There is supposed to be a storm tonight. If it doesn't come, I will be a smidgen upset. School is the last place I'd like to be tomorrow.
Twitter has become yet another addiction. Something must be done to keep me away from these silly social networks! They are anchors holding me down...I'm drowning!
My 8 page research paper is due next Wednesday. That is 7 days from now. I should probably start that considering I've already had 3 weeks to complete it. Procrastination is just another chain holding me back. What am I to do to get rid of all these terrible habits I've created for myself?!
All concentration has suddenly escaped me.
Chill night with my boy Jack Johnson,
Emily Page.
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